Men Are Your Mirror & Why Choosing Yourself Changes Your Reality/Reflection

He’s not withholding. He’s mirroring.⁣
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Your nervous system is speaking louder than your words ever could.⁣
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When you feel safe, loved, and trusting — he feels it too.⁣
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When you’re guarded, controlling, or waiting for proof — his energy mirrors that.⁣
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It’s not about chasing, convincing, or performing.⁣
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It’s about who you are being.⁣

In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on one of the biggest secrets in dating and relationships: men are mirrors. They reflect back the energy, beliefs, and emotions you carry inside.

Here’s what we’ll dive into:

• Why men pull away when you focus on them instead of yourself
• The difference between the problem-oriented structure (fear) vs. the creation structure (love)
• How subconscious programming makes you act in ways that sabotage love
• The shift that makes men lean in, pursue, and want to be part of your world

If you’ve ever felt like dating is a frustrating cycle—calm around the men you don’t like, anxious around the ones you do—this episode will change everything.

✨ Listen now and discover how choosing yourself makes men choose you.

Click here for the full show notes. 

Want to know how your subconscious is shaping the way men respond to you?
In my free podcast miniseries, Available For Love, I’ll show you how to rewire your internal patterns (yes — even the ones your mirror neurons are reflecting) so you naturally attract emotionally available, masculine love.
Click here to listen to my new private podcast mini-series “Available For Love” to learn how to forever stop pushing away good men and learn how to make ANY MAN open his heart to you 💙

If you're tired of guessing what he's thinking, trying to be "chill" when you're actually anxious, or attracting men who pull away just when things feel real—The Winner Method will change everything.

You don’t need to do more. You just need to make a few key shifts that help a good man feel like a winner when he's with you.

🎥 Watch The Winner Method masterclass now and start inspiring the love you actually want.
💬 If you're ready for The Winner Method program, click here to grab it now for only $47

Want to open your heart so your energy is HOT and he knows your value just by standing near...

Transcript

Have you ever noticed how when you don't like a guy, you're not interested in him romantically, you feel super calm, sweet and easy around him. But the ones that you do like suddenly make you feel anxious, you go into overthinking, and you feel almost desperate for their attention. That's not a coincidence. It's a mirror. Men don't reject you. They reflect who you are. Men reject who you become around them.

And today I want to show you how what you think about yourself is always reflected in how men treat you. If you are a woman that was like me and could not attract and keep the man that she really wanted, somehow you would get him, but he would fall through your fingers. This episode is for you. It starts with you. Men are not the problem. They are always the reflection. Okay, I wanna share with you the mirror principle.

If you follow me on social media, if you follow me on Instagram or TikTok or YouTube or Pinterest or my substack or my website, whatever it is, clearly I'm everywhere, right? You know that I've talked about how men are a mirror and men don't withhold love from you, they simply reflect to you the love that you withhold from yourself. This has been the most viral post that I've had this year. In 2025, I have shared it twice, and both times it has gone viral. Quarter of a million views, saves like crazy, Shares like crazy, likes like crazy, comments like crazy. It's been somewhat of a. How do I call it?

Like a controversial viewpoint. And many women got offended. But then so many women were like, you are spot on. This is. They. They. They understood it.

It's like they felt the truth in it. And if that was you, keep listening, because I really know that this podcast episode is going to change your perspective. Welcome back to the available podcast. Did you see that?

The program got. I mean, the podcast got a rename, it got a rebrand. I didn't talk about it last week because, uh, I would. I had recorded the podcast already before I decided to change the name. The brand needed it. It didn't need an upgrade. It just wasn't as aligned to me as it.

As it is now. And the available concept, being available, emotionally available to what you want, has been.

I mean, if. If I'm honest and if I think back, it's been the theme of my entire life. I've always wanted to know why some things felt really easy to have and hold onto while things I could not get. And if I did get them, they would Fall through my fingers. It's all about emotional availability. It's all about subconscious availability or safety. It's all about whether your identity believes that you deserve it.

Because you don't get what you deserve. You get who you believe you are. And we're going to get into that a little bit more. But in this episode, I want to share something that might change the way.

Not even might. I know it will change the way you see men forever. Again, if you followed. If you follow me on social media, you probably have seen this before, but I've never. I don't think I've ever done an episode on it. So I was like, what the freak?

Okay, it's this. Men are always a mirror. They are constantly reflecting back to you what's happening inside of you. Think about it. The guy you don't even like, he feels calm, light and easy around you. Why? Because you are calm, light and easy around you when you're with him.

But the one that you do like, suddenly you're overthinking, anxious, trying to prove yourself, maybe even bending over backwards and bending your boundaries just to be around him. And what happens?

He pulls away. He mirrors the energy that you're giving off of tension, resistance, restriction. He does the exact same thing that you're feeling inside. So today we're gonna talk about why this happens. The biggest mistake that I made because of it and that maybe you're making because of it, and the shift that you need to make both consciously and subconsciously. I'm gonna explain what both of those mean so that your energy, so that, like, the way you feel around men is confident, magnetic. I hate the word magnetic because it sounds so woo woo.

What does this mean? It means that the thing that you want is drawn to you is like you're magnetizing it. It's literally going, like, binding you really quickly.

So when I. When I say the word magnetic, just think you're a magnet to the thing you want. We all want to be this way, okay? And so your energy is confident. It's magnetic. And the men, and men want to be a part of it.

Part of your life. Okay. All right. Part one.

The mirror principle. Men don't reject you. They reject who you become around them. I'm saying this with so much love because this is what I did my entire life. When, okay? And I want you to see this when. But when you choose yourself, men feel it and they lean in and they want to choose you, okay?

When you focus all your energy on him, he mirrors that by focusing on himself. Instead he says, I must be really amazing. There must be something wrong with her because she's not even like showing up like as her best self and she seems great, but why isn't she showing up this way? And it will make him stop dead in his tracks, make him feel confused, pull back and focus on himself again. Go back to his life. This isn't a coincidence. This is not a coincidence.

It's the mirror principle. Okay? Men are not deciding how they feel about you in a vacuum. They are reflecting your energy back to you in real time. And that means the real work isn't about controlling him. It never was. Even though you think that this, this works and you've been doing living your whole life trying to control external circumstances.

No, no, no, honey, all the work side. And this is why I spent most of my days doing the inner regulating, doing the conscious creation of safety, the getting. Creating the dopamine and the oxytocin and the serotonin and endorphins to feel safe in my body so that I can show up really well again. I'll talk about this more, right? But it's.

It's all about connecting. So reflecting your energy, right? And showing up in a way that he feels drawn to you instead of repelled by you. Okay, again, that means that the real work isn't about looking at him, controlling him and trying to figure him out.

No, no, no. I want you to notice that men are always just reflecting back to you and the world. The world, ladies, your body, money, your career, everything is always reflecting back to you. What is showing up is always a reflection of what's going on inside of you. O so it's all about. It is all about choosing yourself first. When you choose you, he chooses you.

When you focus on him and you choose him, he chooses himself. This is just natural law. It's literally. I hate to like call it the law of attraction, all that stuff, but it's just a natural law, okay? It's how things work. It's energy, it's subconscious power. It's consciousness.

It's all those things, okay? So I want you to just think about this and look.

Look at your life. I know for myself, whenever I was in desperate, lonely woe is me energy. I could never create from that place. I never could manifest. I could never create love. Why? Because I wasn't in love.

I was in fear. I was in doubt. I was in insecurity. I was in neediness. I was in lac. I was in scarcity. I was feeling like I'm not Enough.

I need something else outside of me. So what would that do? It would just create more. Not enoughness, more lack more. Always feeling like something else is the problem, something else is the solution.

So I never. It was just this vicious cycle. It's. It reflects in what I covered in the episode last week. If you didn't listen to the relationship sabotage loop, stop this episode.

No, just kidding. Don't stop it. Keep listening. But go listen to it after if you haven't listened to it. A game changer and I'm going to refer to it a lot. So if you don't understand some of it, go back and listen to it. Such a necessary episode.

Okay, so it. Where was I? So let me see. I lost my drain of thought. Okay, so when you are thinking about life doesn't feel good right now. When your life doesn't feel good and you're operating from I need to make it feel better. You are in what I call a problem oriented structure.

Your start starting from problem and you're trying to solve for that problem. The problem with solving for the problem is that you are starting from a place of lack and fear and needing a solution. And I want you to consider that when you start from that place, the solution always is the solution. And if it even shows up a little bit wrong, AKA a man, he's not loving you the way you think you need. He's not showing up the way you think you need. You will sabotage it because you'll say I need you to show up, right? Because or else I'm not good enough.

Or else I'm going to be lonely instead of. And so. And you end up sabotaging it. You will push a man away because a man doesn't want to be your everything. He wants to be a big part of your life. He doesn't want to be the source of your happiness. He wants a happy woman.

I asked this last week, would you be with a man who's a problem? No one wants to be with a problem. I don't want to inherit a problem. I don't know about you. Neither do men. Okay, so when you are again, when men are showing up in your world and I want you to ask yourself, when men are showing up in my world, are they totally into me? And I think a lot of you guys are going to say yes.

I know a lot of you guys are going to say yes. Those of you listening are, you're smart, you're wonderful, you're beautiful, you're sweet, you love God. Like you just have so Many great things going on for yourself, so you probably attract guys. But then they fall through your fingers. Why? You either push them away because you don't feel good enough. You subconsciously push them away and sabotage it because you can't hold on to their love, because you don't trust masculine energy. They. It isn't.

You don't feel like you could be yourself, so you're always putting up a front. And then you get burnt out by being this fake version of yourself. And then you end up showing who you really are. And he's like, who the heck are you? Right? It's like. It's. It's. I want you to just consider this, right?

What is your pattern with men? And if it feels to you like there's not enough good men out there, man, there's like, men aren't. Don't want relationships. They. They don't want commitment. They. They, you know, they don't love me the way I want.

That is a reflection of you, sweetie. And just consider it. Okay? But I think if you're listening to this, it's because you know that this is true. You've seen this in your reality. When I feel like they're not out there, it's because I feel like I'm not enough out there. Yeah, I stopped there for a reason.

Think about it, right? Just feel into that and see if this feels true for you. So men are always a reflection, but the solution isn't to fix the reflection. You would not go into the mirror and look at yourself and be like, oh, I need some makeup and go put makeup on in the reflection.

No, no, no. You put the makeup on you so the reflection changes, Right? This is exactly what subconscious work means. You. You need when. When your reality isn't looking the way you want, you don't have to go and work hard and put in more effort and try to change people and twist their arms and control them. No, no, no.

You're doing it the hard way. And most people do life this way. They. They work from what's called, like, an external structure. You go try to fix the external world. You act. We actually are crazy doing this.

But we do this because most of us think intellectually. We think with our left brain. We're not thinking with our right creator brain. We don't understand that life. We don't understand that the true concept of life, which is life, is a reflection of your beliefs, right? It's always a manifestation of your internal life. So we're changing things that actually don't even create Real change or don't.

Yeah, it doesn't last either. Right? Guys change, and then you're like, oh, I feel better now.

No, no, no, no. Guys are just reflection. If you change yourself first, if you put on the makeup, the makeup, your reflection look.

So we don't fix. Guys, we have to ask. You always have to ask yourself, why is this? What. What is going on inside of me? What thoughts am I having? And this isn't about judging yourself here.

This is about just. Just accepting.

While I've been operating from solving a problem of loneliness, solving the problem of singleness, solving the problem of I'm not loved, solving the problem of I don't feel good enough or pretty enough or whatever this is. It's such a harmful place to live in that. That world of I need to solve versus the structure that I. That I recommend in last week's episode, which is a creative structure. Just saying, I want more love in my life. I would love to be in a great relationship. I'm gonna create it because my life is already really good.

I have so much love to give. I recognize that relationships are a place to serve and give, not a place to. To take and receive. I mean, you do receive, but I want you to see it starts with. With value, with service, with support. With you giving to a man and you seeing him as a place of. He's such a great person.

I want him in my life. And if he's gonna be in my life, like, I want him to see the. Like, the value in mine. And I'm gonna show up just like myself and show him that being with me is such a valuable thing. And you just show up really authentically to the point where he wants to be in it, because you're not pushing yourself on him. You're just being yourself. And he's like, whoa, you're great too. Right? It's from a place of.

Of giving and value add. It's not from take energy. Take energy feels really clunky and gross to a guy. It feels gross to you too. Think about the guys that you've been out with, and they just are trying to have sex with you. They're in like, I want to get laid. That feels horrible.

You feel used. You feel objectified. Right? You feel disrespected. Men feel that way too.

We just don't want. Most of us don't realize that we're operating from that deficit from scarcity, from, I'm not enough. I don't have enough. My life isn't good unless I have A relationship. Unless I get married, unless I have babies, I need a man to do it. So I'm gonna go and get from guys. But when you're in, take energy, you attract takers. Okay? And when you are in I'm a problem, you will attract men that see you as a problem.

And they'll walk away. Cause they'll say, I don't want someone that's a problem. They want a happy woman. Does that make sense? Okay, so here's where most women go wrong.

You make him the focus, right? You're. You're making your reflection the focus. Like, oh, I don't look good in the mirror. Let me put lipstick on the mirror. No. Okay. And what, what does this look like when you make him the focus?

This is what you're thinking. This is what it looks like.

Does he like me? Is he pulling away? Why didn't he text me back? Why didn't he post our picture on Instagram? Why hasn't he asked me out yet? What does that mean?

Everything is him, him, him, him, him. And all of these questions I want you to see are rooted in what I call the problem oriented structure. You're focusing on what feels wrong and then trying to fix it. But love isn't something that you fix. Love is something that you create. I really need you to see this. And when you operate from problem mode, you're actually operating from fear.

Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of not being enough. And guess what happens? Fear is the exact same exact thing that men mirror back with, back with. And what it looks like is distance. Fear, disconnection, rejection, abandonment, separation. Yeah. So fear is the exact exact thing that men mirror back with distance.

So when you are in fear and abandonment, fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of not being enough. That's what he does. He rejects you because he doesn't think that he wants to be with you. He doesn't feel good in your energy. And men don't stay where they don't feel good. Losers do. Losers will stay there.

Men that don't think that they're enough, they'll take scraps. They'll take a woman that's in problem structure because they think they're a problem, right? Problems create problems, problems attract problems. Creation, love creates more love. Creativity creates, makes things happen, right? So I want you to see that, okay? When you're focused on him, he becomes focused on him and he walks away from you.

But when you're focused on you and when you. When you're focused on love, when you are love when you are choosing yourself, he will choose you too.

Okay, so let me. Let's. Let's talk about this. Imagine this. Instead, you walk into dating from a place of. Not from a place of fear, but from a place of love. A place of sufficiency, a place of choosing yourself, a place of.

I just want more love in my life because I already love myself. I'm not a problem to fix. A relationship is a beautiful thing to have and create. Okay, Love says, I already know I'm enough. I already know I'm worthy. And I choose to create joy, intimacy, connection. Not because I need it, but simply because I desire it.

This is the creation structure. When you're in creation, your energy says I'm the chooser.

I choose me. I choose my standards. I choose to see if you meet my vision for love, Mr. Man. Right? And men feel that. And they feel like they're stepping into a woman's world, not feeling a hole in her self worth.

This is really important. Sorry, I like totally knocked my desk right now. I want you to see the difference. Does that, does that make sense? Love. Love says like, I've already chosen myself. I already feel great and I'm the chooser and I choose me.

And I don't. And I.

I choose to see if he meets my vision for love. I choose to just create out of intimacy and connection. Not because I need it, but because I desire it. Here's what I want you to ask yourself.

Are you creating? Do you want a relationship? Are you creating a relationship because you simply want it or because you think you need it so that you can fill a fix a problem? If it's the latter, this is why love isn't feeling good. This is why you're sabotaging it. This is why he pulls away. He's not totally into you.

You don't feel good enough in it. It's not the place to start. You need to start from choosing yourself, not from choosing him. Okay, why your conscious mindset isn't enough.

Okay, so I want. What I'm saying here is why just thinking and focusing on your behaviors is. Isn't enough. You also need your subconscious stuff. Okay, so let's talk about this. Here's the kicker. You can't just tell yourself I'm worthy, I'm the chooser, and expect it to stick.

Many women do this. They say affirmations. They're just constantly telling themselves this. And your conscious mind might know it. And most of you guys know it. That's why you're listening to this. You're like, I know I deserve love, but why the frick isn't happening? It. Why isn't it happening?

Why am I not feeling more love? Right? I feel bad. So your conscious mind might know it, but your subconscious mind often runs off of an entirely different program. Why? If your subconscious mind is wired to believe that love equals anxiety, right? If you in your life, you have felt love, feel like pain too, or that you need to perform in order to be chosen.

You have to give in order to receive. You have to. You have to always be perfect. You have to be. You have to do in order to get. Okay, you'll consciously keep acting in ways that push men away. Why? If you. You clearly know this, that in the Winter Method master class, if you haven't listened to it, click below.

Go listen to it. You men fall in love totally different than women, okay? Men don't want a woman that performs, that's anxious, that gives to him all the time, that is trying to prove her worth.

This pushes men away. Why? Because men actually need to be the ones doing in order to fall in love. Men don't fall in love by receiving. They don't fall in love by being loved. They don't fall in love by you making it easy and you complimenting him and telling him he's great and you texting him and paying for half. No, men fall in love by pursuing you.

So initiating contact, going after you. They fall in love by being challenged. So they have to literally be challenged. They have to effort, they have to give effort, they have to to work hard, they have to invest, they have to give and they have to win with you. Those four things, I talk about it in the master class. It's totally free.

I explain why this is the case. Go watch it. It's free. It's long. It wasn't long. It's like 30 minutes. But I.

I don't want to go into that because I already have it all beautifully wrapped up for you. Click below and go watch it. Okay? This is why when, if your subconscious is wired, if it's already been programmed from when you were a little girl, that loves equals anxiety, or that you need to perform to be chosen, you'll unconsciously keep acting in ways that push him away. Why? Because those. That story that you've told yourself, I need to give, I need to perform, I need to be perfect, I need to be sweet, I need to be.

I need to please other people. That is you doing. And men don't fall in love by you doing secure, emotionally available men Fall in love by them doing so. When you're doing his job, he's like, I'm out. You're the masculine guy. I don't want a masculine woman. I want a feminine woman. Peace out.

I just want a woman to be there and be beautiful and kind and sweet and just be there. And I'm going to give to you.

That's how men fall in love. But a lot of you, when you're the one that's. You're. You've been programmed to. To believe that you're the one that has to give and do. A man feels really off in that he doesn't understand it. He's like, why are you doing things when you're such a beautiful, fragile little flower?

I just want to give to you. It rings so off to him, he'll walk away. And so you can consciously say, I want love. But if notice your behaviors with men, you'll push them away. If you don't understand how men work, Go learn how men work. Go get the Winter Method, you guys.

The Winter Method Masterclass. I break it down. It's free. The program is only $47. The full winter Method program. It's so cheap. Like, it's nothing.

Like, it's like a meal at a restaurant. Okay? Invest in this for yourself.

Go watch it. Go understand. You have to understand how men work. Because when you understand how men actually fall in love, you'll understand that you've been doing this most of most women that don't have relationships. And mind you, I'm saying this because I did this my whole life. Okay? I had.

This is why I did all the research for you and realized I'm like, I've always been the masculine one. This is why I've attracted feminine guys. And I don't want a feminine guy that sits back and receives and takes. I want a leader. I want a man I respect. I don't want a guy that I'm turned off by eventually. Right. I did all the homework.

I did all the work for you. Go listen to it. Go learn why this is happening. You are not the.

You're not masculine. That is not who you are in your nature. Do you have moments of masculine energy like when you're working when you're in your career? Yes. When you're with a guy, that's not the way you're supposed to be. You are inherently feminine. And the feminine receives.

The feminine follows. The feminine is just herself. She's not doing. She's not giving. She's not.

You're just In a supportive helper role. And it feels so easy when you are in your feminine. Most of us don't do that because we were never able to be. You were never. You did most of the work as a child. Right? I was in a life where I had to do everything myself. It worked.

Now as an adult woman, I'm like, I have to do everything myself. And. And it doesn't work in relationships. We weren't taught correctly. You have to undo that. But it has to be very. You have to do it at a subconscious level. Okay. This is why alignment is everything. Why you.

This is why you have to reprogram your subconscious to feel safe to receive and just show up and just be yourself with men. So that your natural energy becomes. And shows up very calm, very confident, very demure.

No, just kidding. Very magnetic without you forcing it.

Does this make sense? I want you. I'm gonna like, say this again. You can't just tell yourself, I'm worthy. I'm the chooser. I. And expect it to stick.

You have to. Yes. You. You. Your conscious mind might know it, but your subconscious often runs off of an entirely different program. And if your subconscious is wired to believe that love equals pain and it's scary, you will show up in a way that's very nervous energy. And that nervous energy repels mentally.

They don't want it. It doesn't feel good to them at all in any way. They want soft, like guys. This is how guys think. I'm in a war all day working. I'm literally in war battling. When I'm with a woman, it needs to feel good.

If it doesn't feel good, I'm out. This is secure, emotionally available men. Losers want the drama.

They want the chaos. They want the chase. They want all that crazy crap. This isn't. This isn't for. This isn't normal behavior. It's. It's survival mode.

Most of us have been in survival mode that you're used to survival, masculine energy. It doesn't belong in here in relationships, right? And if you feel that you need to perform and work hard to be chosen, you unconsciously keep pushing men away. Good, healthy guys. You'll. You'll attract guys, but there'll be guys you don't want. You know this.

You look at your love life, right? And when you're around a guy that you really want, you will feel so nervous around him and anxious and desperate. Why? Because your. Your subconscious goes, I don't. Who's this?

This is a big bear. It doesn't. It Actually feels scary to be around really strong masculine energy. Why? Because you've never had it, it's never seen wants it. You consciously want it. And that's why you're like, you get excited but you don't act right. Why? Because subconsciously it's scared. Why? Your brain is scared of anything that's new.

It's scared of anything that it doesn't recognize and it's scared of anything that's hurt it in its past. If you've been around strong leadership and leadership, that power of authority has hurt you. AKA your parents or a past relationship, it or men. If a man has hurt you, abuse, rape, a boss, past, you've been cheated on, anything like that, masculine energy will feel scary to you. And even though you want it now because you think I've done the work I've done the healing I deserve, doesn't matter what you want consciously, if you still have fear around it, your subconscious takes over and goes, we gotta get the heck outta here. How does it get out of here? By subconsciously sabotaging it by acting like a nervous wreck and doing all the things that it will do to keep you safe.

AKA get rid of this guy. Stop. We need to stop doing this. You need conscious, you need to be doing conscious things during the day and conscious behaviors that look like and feel like. Love is safe.

Love is a beautiful thing. Love is just a thing to create.

I deserve it. Men are safe. Men are great things that I want to be around.

Subconscious, look, this is good. And you're the teacher subconscious. Because at first it's going to say that feels scary. We usually we get nervous around these guys.

How are we going to be positive? How are we going to be confident? And this is what I teach women to do in the open heart blueprint and the winner method. So I want you to just see that. Yeah, it has, you have to have alignment. What's alignment? Your subconscious mind says men are great, love is great, relationships are great, I'm great.

And your conscious mind says the same thing. I'm great, men are great. I want a relationship. Relationships are great. When both things are aligned. You have no parts of you on the break. Your behaviors that you choose to do, like get let him pursue you, let him be challenged, let him give, let him win.

Everything I teach you in the winter method, it feels very easy to do if you have got the winner method and it feels hard. You have subconscious stuff we need to work on. Okay. Hundreds of you have purchased the winner method. And I'm so happy for You. But I've been hearing you guys. Well, I've been getting DMS from you guys in the community, in, in school, in our private community where the program is.

And you guys have told me, this is so good. I totally understand it. Why the heck can I do it? Why can't I let him be challenged? I believe step two, letting a man be feel challenged is the hardest thing for you. Why? You're used to the one being challenged.

You're used to the one doing all the work. You're used to the one investing. You're used to the one doing, doing, doing. When I tell you he needs to do, you're like, what do I do while he does. What do I do when he do. What do I do when he's. When he's being challenged and investing his resources, his time and energy?

You will feel so crazy, you will fall off. In the open heart blueprint, I teach you how to deal with it so that you can be calm in minutes. Literally be calm in minutes. You chill out. You listen to the audio reprograms, which to me are like, oh, my gosh, again, cheat code in my, in my brain. And you feel really, really great.

And, and you're. And you teach your nervous system. You teach your subconscious, hey, look it. This is. It's okay.

Like dating a guy like this. I know, it's weird. It's new.

It's a slow burn. Think about this. I know for me, and if you're listening to this, this probably applies to you. I used to always, always push rush, lead control, like, let's start a relationship. Because there was a lot of certainty in it. Like, oh, he likes me and he's committed to me. Okay, good.

When there was uncertainty and there was he. I didn't know if he liked me. I didn't know if he was going to commit to me. I didn't know if he was seeing other women. Oh, my God, this would freak me out. So it's like we try to rush to the commitment stage. This pushes men.

If they don't like it, they don't want to be rushed. They want to be the one pursuing.

Remember stage number one. They want to be attracted and keep coming back to you. But if they feel pressured, they're not gonna. Right. So you have to notice the conscious behaviors that you're taught to do. Let him pursue, Let him be challenged. Let him give, let him win.

How do you show up in those places? Soft, chill, comfortable, relaxed. You just show up. For a lot of you guys, this is hard for you, the challenge specific and the giving and especially the winning, they all just feel really hard. Why? Because this just shows me and I want it to. I want you to see that if this feels hard, it's because you have subconscious beliefs that aren't in alignment with that.

It's like, oh, you. He has to give. No, no, no. We're the ones I give. Oh, he has to pursue me. No, no, we're the ones that pursue you.

Don't you have a mismatch? You need to get to a match. And this is where this means your heart is guarded. It's used to doing all the work. We want to open it up. We don't want it to operate from fear. Right? We want to operate from choosing yourself.

Usually you have been externally focused. You have been choosing men. Because men are the solution to the problem of you. You, my love, are not a problem. You are perfect. You are lovable. You are enough right now.

You are skinny enough. You are beautiful enough. You are smart enough. You are everything. Enough. But when you are operating from.

I'm a problem. I'm not choosing myself. Men will never choose you. Yes. Do you see that? We have to start from choosing you. And choosing you starts with this.

Like, it's subconscious. It's like, I'm okay in my body. I'm great.

I love myself. This is the work we're doing in the open heart blueprint. Here's what I want you to know. The open heart blueprint is getting the best upgrade right now. It's all about subconscious reprogramming. I am in the process of adding.

Oh, my gosh, you guys, so much good stuff. And the program is fully like. It's all about how to understand, like, where you're. Where you're blocking guys. The subconscious beliefs where you're like the problem structure you're operating from. Everyone has different problem structures that they're operating from. You're either in avoidance or you're in attaching and anxiousness.

You're either doing too much or you're scared and you're hiding. You're not doing enough. I caught. You've heard me probably talk about this before. You're either a hider or a hustler. So the open heart blueprint I have added. Let me see.

Let me look at my. My list of the things that I've done.

Oh, my gosh. It's just so, so much good. It's. How many.

How many modules? Six. Six mini modules. It's not a crazy big program, ladies. And it is. Oh, my God, I'm just so proud of it because I, I have. The. The way that I created the program was subconscious audio reprogramming.

Because it's really, really good. Like, it's actually. It's actually really beneficial just to focus on.

On just that. Okay. I have learned with my Sagura women in my group coaching program that I'm like, what have we done in this program that's actually helped women choose themselves, actually help them feel really operate from creation, not from the problem structure. I'm like, what is it that we've done? And I went over this this past weekend and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. There's so many missing things that I want you guys to have. So here's the thing.

If you've already bought Open Heart Blueprint, it is getting a massive upgrade and it will be done, I say two weeks. It's going to be done sooner than that. Way sooner you get the pleasure of getting all those things for free because you've already bought it. Okay? If you haven't got it yet and you want all the new things that I'm adding to the program, which is. I'm just going to give you guys a freaking. Creating your love vision, feminine communication.

This your subconscious map, the subconscious blueprint. So understanding what's really driving you, the beliefs that you have inside that are actually reflecting outside of you. And this is why men aren't choosing you. Your own, Your own structure, your own problem structure, what yours looks like. Because everyone's different. Everybody's. You're either in avoidance or you're either in anxiousness.

What are the maladaptive behaviors that you do? So what is the thing that you're doing that pushes men away? How to stop it? It includes the winner method, all these things, and the foundations of love confidence. The overall reason I created this program is to create what I call total love confidence. This is love on autopilot.

This is confidence on autopilot. This is receiving on autopilot. This is calmness and comfort in your own body and in your own skin with the man on autopilot. Why is this important? You don't want your subconscious behaviors to be the autopilot to be fear attaching, avoidance, hiding, controlling, pushing, basically all sabotaging, right? All the things that you do, you do that actually push men away. Because men, again, remember, men do not fall in love this way.

They fall in love completely different. They fall in love the way that you're doing love right now. And when you're doing that role, you take Away his role. He doesn't feel needed. He will not be with you. Okay, ladies, please go watch the master class. If you have not watched it, it's freaking free.

Okay, so I've added all the things that the open heart blueprint fully needs for you to just work on this yourself. You do not need to work with me and pay me thousands of dollars like I did before in order to get this program. I have learned that so many of you guys are just like, I don't know, just give me the things, let me do it, and then I'm off to the races. I don't need you to hold my hand. I'm independent, I'm smart, great. Do it on your own. It's there, it's available for you.

And I've learned that I don't need to be there for you to get the. To get the result that you want. I just need to give you the tools and then you do it. I trust you to do it. And if you. When you do them, you're off to the freaking races. You are subconsciously transformed internally so that your external reality reflects that.

It's all about choosing yourself first so that men choose you. I want you to consider that you have not been choosing yourself. You've just been choosing men. And this is why men choose themselves and they don't choose you back. Can. Can you see this?

Okay, you choose your l. You choose yourself. When you have total love confidence. When. When you feel like love. When you are like, of course I'm going to choose me.

I'm freaking dope. I'm. I. I love myself. Why wouldn't you choose something that gives you so much love? A lot of you guys don't choose yourselves because you don't love yourself. You are mean to you.

You have negative self. Inner talk. You are. You beat yourself up. There's so many things that you're doing that when you're alone, you're like this. Excuse my French, but I'm gonna say a bad word. Sorry if there's.

If you're listening to this with your kids, I'm so sorry. It. You're. You're inner. Your. I don't want to say your inner child, but I guess it is your inner. Your old identity is like in the world of Annabelle, in your brain.

She's a freaking bitch. Like, I don't want to be around you. I need to be around you. Someone that's nice. He seems nice. So I want you to consider that your inner reality isn't nice. And this is why you're always seeking niceness outside of yourself.

No, no, no. You need to be the niceness. You need to be love. You need to be loving yourself. And when you love and choose yourself, men love and choose you too. Do you see how it all works? It's this beautiful recursive cycle.

Here's the biggest benefit. When you do this, when you choose yourself, when you love yourself, when you're in total of confidence, when you're subconscious, when you have an open heart, AKA internally, you are always loving yourself. You have so much self love, so much self compassion. When you do this, it creates a reflection, it creates a love life where. This is going to sound so crazy, but you love yourself so much that you literally don't even feel like you need a man anymore. Okay? This. You will still get one because you will be choosing him from creation, not from.

From a deficit. Right? But I want you to see that I have so many clients that. And this is the way I feel now. I am so patient when it comes to love. When it comes to relationships, I feel so good by myself. This was not the case before.

My mind was an asshole. My inner self talk was mean. My old identity, my. My protectors, my internal system was very, very mean. Which is why I never liked being by myself. I always wanted to be with other people because they were nicer to me than I was to me. Right? If you do not have total love confidence, if you don't have the autopilot behavior to just be loving to yourself, you don't feel confident that you can love other people.

And I want you to consider that you don't. You won't feel confident that you can love yourself in any moment. You don't feel confident that you will ch.

Choose the right person. You will not feel confident that you can love a man back. And you will not feel confident about your value and your worth. This is the biggest problem with an internal system. That, that. Oh, that's in the problem.

I'm sorry, in the. Yeah, in the problem structure. But when you're in the creation structure, you know your worth. You are deeply, deeply confident about your value and you deeply trust yourself. Like, this is why.

This is why singleness feels so good. And for so many of my clients, they always say, I don't even feel like I need a man anymore. I feel so good in my body. Like, oh my gosh, Annabelle, like if I get a guy, great, like it'll happen. But like you don't feel needy anymore. So when you're around men, men Feel so good around you. They're like, she doesn't push me, she doesn't pressure me.

She doesn't control me. She just respects me. She sees my value. And guys are like, I need to be with her. This is why it changes. Okay, here's the biggest benefit. The longer you do this work, the.

The more your subconscious gets trained to be on autopilot of total love confidence. Your. Your autopilot behavior, your subconscious behavior just becomes love. It's just, it's just love and happiness. You know how I can tell that this has changed for me, ladies, is I got drunk and when my sister, my sister, my sister, twin sister picked me up because I, I had so many drinks with a girlfriend of mine or a client of mine, she flew in from Texas and, and we had lunch and we ended up having champagne and wine and had so much. We got drunk. It was just the, the funnest time, the most fun time.

And when we did that usually drunk Annabelle, you guys was mean, scared, sad, crying. She. I remember my sister told me, annabelle, you were so funny.

You were so happy. You were just like.

What's that like? Just fun, like love. You know how I know that I've. I've changed ins internally how I choose myself, how I'm from a creation structure because of the way that I act when my, when my conscious mind is offline and only my subconscious is driving the car. My subconscious is very happy and loves other people and really loves myself. It's. It's pretty amazing. The. And here's what's great.

The more you do this work, the more your subconscious gets programmed, the. The more autopilot you become from reacting from a place of love. You don't get triggered as often. If you do get. If you do get triggered, you know, because you can pause. You have so much self control. It is you guys.

It's the biggest game changer. Oh my gosh, it's so great. So here's what my offer is to you. Here's what I want you to notice first. Are you. Is your love life reflecting back to you? Is your love life.

Does it look like, wow, men are mirroring back to me. They don't choose me. I'm not being chosen. It's because you're not choosing yourself. You're not choosing yourself because you're operating from a problem structure. You're operating from a problem structure because your subconscious and conscious mind are not aligned. You may have some of the conscious.

You know how to. How men work. You treat them well. You try to show up really well.

But subconsciously, it's. It's. It's a different story, right?

And you need alignment. Both of them need to be on the same page so they can hold hands and. And march on down the road. I talked about this in last week's episode. If you haven't listened to it, oh, my gosh, go listen.

It's so good. And because I know this is hitting home for you, I know you're listening to this. I know this makes sense to you. So the goal is opening your heart, choosing yourself, loving yourself. This is why I called it the open heart blueprint. Because when you open your heart, you very easily can open a man's heart via the winner method. The way that. The. Via that program, right?

So you have conscious behaviors of what you're doing and then doing the subconscious reprogramming stuff. Because when you're doing conscious stuff, that. That actually creates a strong inner self that chooses yourself. It just become.

It's called recursive. They both just, like, are. It's. It's like an ambitious cycle versus a vicious cycle. You're doing.

You're loving yourself. And so your subconscious says, oh, we love ourselves. And because you love yourself, you pick good men. And because you pick good men, they love you. And because they love you, you feel really good about yourself. And because you feel really good about yourself, you pick. You do even better things with men.

And because men. You do great things with men, men pick you. And because men pick you, you love yourself more. Do you see the cycle? Do you see the freaking dope cycle? And again, the longer you're in a community where this is what's happening, it just becomes more and more ingrained. Okay? That's what we do in Segura. Again, it's.

That's not necessary. If you want to be around women like that and. And that. That community, you can always jump in, and it's very, very, very affordable. The open heart blueprint, you guys, it's getting. It's such an upgrade. I love it so much.

I feel so much. I will not. I'm not gonna be able to stop talking about this to the world. Like, you guys are not able to get me to shut up because it's so full now and it's so perfect. So if you have the program, great, you're gonna get all the. The upgrades. If you don't have it, grab it now so that when it gets upgraded, you can get it at the low price.

Because here's what's gonna happen. The price is gonna go up because it's such a valuable program.

It's so valuable. And right now I think it's like 150 or 175. I forget the price, ladies.

Or 150, $175. So cheap, so cheap. And here's what, here's what you'll know. It will always be in the couple hundred dollars but it's probably going to be doubled. So it's probably going to go up to 400. Okay. If you, if you haven't grabbed it yet, get it now so that you can 1 start listening to the audio reprogramming tracks and when it gets upgraded with it will be done within two weeks.

Right now if you're listening to this, it's August 21st when it goes live. Today's August 20th.

It's my baby's birthday. She's 25. How do I have a 25 year old daughter, you guys, I'm 45. So crazy. I love her. Happy birthday, Alyssa.

To my baby. So if you get it now, you're gonna get it at the cheaper price and it will never be that price again, I promise you. Grab it now. Get it. If you want to know more about the conscious guy stuff that you need to know and be able to understand men so you know what the opposite is of how you should be showing up with men, go watch the masterclass. It's free. If you want the winner method again, it's, it's 47 bucks.

It's so cheap. You get to learn all the conscious things that you probably women tell me, oh my God, I've been doing it wrong. Here's the even cooler part. So sorry. I created a new cheat sheet and it's a cheat sheet called how to spot. Hold on, I need to look at the name because Lord knows my memory. How to spot.

Pursuit, challenge, giving and winning and action in a man. So in other words, how do you know when a man is being challenged? How do you know when he's giving, how do you know when he feels like he's winning so that you can know if he's experiencing these things with you? That means he's falling in love. That means he's bonding to you. That means he's going to commit. That means he's mate guarding.

It means all the things. Go watch the program. It's free. I mean, yeah, the masterclass. But if you want to. This is a new worksheet I added. And so many women in the, in the community have been like, oh my God, Annabelle, this is a game changer.

It's so helpful. Thanks for making this. You get that as soon as you get the winner method. It's a really great freaking. It gives you 200 examples of each. I'm sorry, 50 of each. The first one is very obvious.

We all know when a man's pursuing us, right? He's calling, he's making dates. But the challenge one, the giving one, the winning one, it so, like, women are like, oh, my God. I never would have thought that this is what a man, if he's doing this, this means he's being challenged. And if he feels he's being challenged, he's seeing me as a woman. That's very valuable. That's respectable.

He will value you. He will want you. This is what you guys are all saying. These are the emails I'm getting, the DMs I'm getting. And I. I'm like, write these in the. In the community.

Stop telling me in private. Go write it on the wall in school. So that's one thing that I added, and then the other thing that I added in the winter method is we have a whole winter method. Private, beautiful page of the program. I had it before, and then I stopped sharing it. I. I just had.

I was like, everything's in school. It's like the platform. But for some reason, I kept on getting emails by some of you guys.

You guys were. You weren't. When you would buy the winner method, you wouldn't get the email from. From school inviting you. Like, as soon as you buy, you get the email from me, you get a welcome, you get a receipt, and then you get the email from school. Some of you guys weren't getting it. It happened two times.

And I was like, nope, this is. This can't happen. I want you guys to get it quickly now.

You get it automatically. And it's. You get it automatically because I created a page on my website where everything lives. And it's the resources, the PDF, the. The modules, the audio file, the everything. It's all there. It's so good. 47 bucks.

Go get it. The cheat sheet's great. The new. The new program page is amazing. Where all the modules are.

It's so beautiful, too. Like, it's worth just even looking at it. It's so pretty.

And, yeah, everything's there. So here's what I want to invite you to. The Open Heart blueprint. It literally teaches you to operate from a creation structure so that you can have and build what I call total love confidence, which is what Helps you to have that internal choosing of yourself so that externally your life will look like men choosing you. Because men you have learned that men are a reflection of you. Men are not a problem. Men are not non committal.

They're not losers or. No, no, no, no. Whatever's showing up in your reality, it's because it's a reflection of your inner belief and your inner love for yourself. If men aren't loving you, it's because there's. There's a deficit here. Again, this isn't a problem.

I'm not trying to. Like, what's the word? I'm not trying to pathologize you or say anything's gone wrong. Nothing. There's no nothing's gone wrong there. You've been living in a really great way that's helped you survive this long. This is why it's so hard to change.

Because your subconscious is like Annabelle, if choose not choosing myself has. Has gotten me this far, why would I choose myself now?

No, no, no. You need to choose yourself because you men will not choose you if you don't choose yourself first. No man wants to inherit a problem. He doesn't want a woman who doesn't choose herself. I welcome you either. Watch the Winner Method masterclass. It's free.

Get the Winner method so that you can learn about men. And then the open heart blueprint. If you want it now, before the price goes up, click below. Grab it now. Within two weeks, it'll probably be. I'm going to be honest with you. Probably be.

Be next Monday, which is like August 25th. Maybe it'll be done by then. Worksheets, videos, podcast, audio files. Everything's in there.

I love you. I hope this helped you see that. How men are a reflection and how you need to be this. You're the starting point. You, your internal life, your subconscious, your con. The way you think about yourself is where we start. You want to be operating from the creation structure, from love, from choosing yourself.

So men reflect love and choosing you back. I love you. I'll see you next week.